Positive Changes Start With Positive Goals

We all want what is better for us. Better relationships, betters jobs, better quality of life… But often, we undermine the possibility of achieving these “betters” by settling for less, engaging in behaviors that will not lead to where we want to be.

Often, and without knowing it, we hold ourselves back from attaining our goals and ideals by engaging in a variety of negative thinking patterns. In all reality, we cannot achieve what we do not, in our core, believe we can achieve. Why we do this is a topic for another post! But the little insecurities, the minor counterproductive behaviors, even the lack of direction perhaps, can all work together to keep us stuck where we don’t want to be.

So, in a nutshell, how can we start to counteract this TODAY?

The first thing is to identify your goals - what would you like to improve? Write these down. But don’t forget them! Refer to them almost daily to keep them in the forefront of your mind and use them as guides when making choices - think, “will this choice get me even one step closer to my goal?”

A second tool to use is journaling. Not necessarily the long, handwritten narrative type, but even just a digital, bullet-point way of keeping on track with your goals. Think of it as a way to keep yourself accountable; but especially, to keep tabs on how you’re feeling about your journey. Because feelings lead to thoughts; thoughts lead to behaviors. And whether this internal pathway leans positively or negatively can have very different outcomes for you. For example, as your begin this goal setting and tracking journey, are you feeling overwhelmed, inspired, lost, confident? Writing down your thoughts and feelings is a great way to see where you need to focus your attention; and maybe even helping to identify areas where you might need some additional support to ensure the best outcome.

A third tool is learning to actively replace negative self-talk with positive. This can be the most difficult for many of us - we are so good at self criticism! But committing to a daily exercise of identifying and expressing even just one good thing about ourselves, is so important. Saying to ourselves things like, “I am so good at ————,” “I love the way I ________,” I’m happy that I _______,” is a game-changer. Saying things like these can help us to internalize these positive sentiments, and begin to change our relationship with ourselves!

The fourth tool is a big one; and that’s an active and committed regimen of self-care. I would advocate doing anything outdoors, but whatever is pleasurable to you counts. Reading, cooking something healthy, listening to a self-help podcast, volunteering, taking a class, a spiritual endeavor, engaging in an art/craft - anything! Commit to a 3x-weekly to a daily schedule of some self-care practice, and before long you will notice the changes, both inside and out.

Wishing you peace and happiness.